Gente Indecente (III): The Flat Earth Society

The flat earth society is meeting here today,
Singing happy little lies
And the bright ship humana is sent far away
With grave determination....
And no destination, lie, lie, lie

(Bad Religion - Flat Earth Society)

Sim... Essa turminha ainda existe... Para quem não conhece, a Flat Earth Society é um grupo de pessoas que defende que a Terra é plana... Sim, plana! E eles desenvolveram esse FAQ aqui para esclarecer as dúvidas de tapados como nós...

Vamos dar uma passada por alguns pontos do FAQ...

Q: "Why do the all the world Governments say the Earth is round?"

A: It's a conspiracy

Q: "What about NASA? Don't they have photos to prove that the Earth is round?"

A: NASA is part of the conspiracy too. The photos are faked.

Q: "Why has no-one taken a photo of the Earth that proves it is flat?"

A: The government prevents people from getting close enough to the Ice Wall to take a picture.

Q: "How did NASA create these images with the computer technology available at the time?"

A: Since NASA did not send rockets into space, they instead spent the money on developing advanced computers and imaging software instead

PLEASE NOTE This means that pictures confirming the roundness or flatness of the Earth DO NOT IN THEMSELVES CONSTITUTE VALID PROOF

Claro, trata-se de uma conspiração governamental! A NASA pegou o dinheiro do contribuinte e construiu super-computadores para fingir que a Terra é redonda... Sim, muito plausível...

Q: "What is the motive behind this conspiracy?"

A: The motive is unknown although it is probably money

Obviamente a NASA é sustentada com dinheiro roubado do contribuinte dos EUA, e aqueles envolvidos com ela teriam motivos para defender sua existência... Mas afirmar que isso tem alguma coisa com o fato da Terra ser pentagonal, tetraédrica ou oval já é coisa de quem fuma muito haxixe...

Q: No way could the government possibly guard the entire Ice Wall! It would take too many men! Millions of men!

A: Not really. You could do it with a few hundred and some basic equipment.

Ah é! Estava esquecendo de falar da magnífica parede de gelo na borda da Terra! Para nossos coleguinhas da cabeça chata o governo (que governo?) está vigiando a parede de gelo para que ninguém chegue perto... Algo tipo Show de Truman hehe...

Simulação da borda terrestre. Repare nas legendas para mongolóide colocadas.

Agora um pouco de astrofísica avançada:

Q: "What is the circumference and diameter of the Earth?"

A: "Circumference: 78225 miles, Diameter: 24,900 miles

Q: "What about the stars, sun and moon and other planets? Are they flat too? What are they made of?"

A: The sun and moon, each 32 miles in diameter, circle Earth at a height of 3000 miles at its equator, located midway between the North Pole and the ice wall. Each functions similar to a "spotlight," with the sun radiating "hot light," the moon "cold light." As they are spotlights, they only give light out over a certain area which explains why some parts of the Earth are dark when others are light. Their apparent rising and setting are caused by optical illusions.

In the "accelerating upwards" model, the stars, sun and moon are also accelerating upwards.

The stars are about as far as San Francisco is from Boston. (3100 miles)

Sim... A Lua manda raios gelados e o Sol raios quentes e nós não congelamos nem torramos... A alvorada e o ocaso são meras ilusões de óptica! E as estrelas la no céu, em? Só a 3100 milhas... Por que não vamos dar um rolê lá?

Q: "What's underneath the Earth?" aka "What's on the bottom?" aka "What's on the other side?"

A: This is unknown. Some believe it to be just rocks, others believe the Earth rests on the back of four elephants and a turtle.

Eu já acho que a terra é um grande frisbee sendo arremessado por seres verdes gigantes... Isso ainda explicaria isso daqui:

Q: "What about gravity?"

A: The Earth is accelerating upwards at 1g (9.8m/s^2) along with every star, sun and moon in the universe. This produces the same effect as gravity.

Q: "Why doesn't water run off the Earth?"

A: There is a vast ice wall that keeps the water where it is. The ice wall is roughly 150ft high. This also explains why you can find a vast plane of ice when you travel south.

Antarctica as a continent does not exist.

Viu gente... A Antártica não existe... Aquelas bases de pesquisa científica são os guardinhas prevenindo o pessoal indo fazer alpinismo na grande montanha...

Q: How come when I flush my toilet in the northern hemisphere it goes counterclockwise but I have this friend in Australia and when he flushes it goes clockwise?

You're mistaken. On a round Earth, the Coriolis effect adds at most one (counter)clockwise rotation per day; fewer as you get closer to the equator. The water in your toilet/sink/bathtub/funnel spins much faster than that (probably at least once per minute, or 1440 times per day) so the additional/lost rotation from the Coriolis effect wouldn't be noticed.

É... Aquele episódio dos Simpsons que o Bart liga para a Austrália perdeu toda a sua graça...

Bem... Chega... Quem for mais entendido de física pode dar uma passeada no site dos caras e se divertir... Away!